mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it was like eating out sand paper
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize