i can't believe i had my finger in that
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
