He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
