Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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