all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
