Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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