i jhust puked up my retainher.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
