He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
