He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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