We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
