Your mouth is God's brothel.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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