You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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