Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
