I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize