Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize