the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
