They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
false alarm, still single
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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