Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
