Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I think my moral compass just broke
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