Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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