Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
