I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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