i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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