The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize