I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
