ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
