There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
