the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
