pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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