What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
