I CAN MOONWALK!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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