Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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