How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
