Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
