grandma shit on top of the toilet
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
