Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
