Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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