just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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