I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
