When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
