Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
