she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
