You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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