jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
