she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize