fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
