i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
