Don't you send me to vm
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
