You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
