Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
