I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
