He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So apparently I’m into choking now
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
