So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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