i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
