So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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