Betty ford says i'm here all night
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
