I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
false alarm. still invincible.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I didn't notice because vodka
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
