i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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