do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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