Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
